This is part one of an essay I wrote while pondering how to overcome the tide of lies being thrown at our children today. I'll post the rest of it later. Enjoy!
 

When Lucifer and his followers were cast out of heaven, they didn’t simply accept defeat and go their way – they plotted revenge on Father and His faithful children, us. At this point, Satan knew he was forever damned, and that he would never enjoy the gift of a physical body and the joys of parenthood. More than anything, he despised his siblings that would now be given these things. For thousands of years, he perfected his craft of deception, preparing for the dispensation of the fullness of times, hoping to not only lead Father’s children into diverse sins but to plant seeds of enmity in their hearts towards their most precious gift of a physical body.

You see it everywhere today. Constantly we are barraged by the ‘perfect’ image of the human body: celebrities and models with forms that are as unrealistic as they are unhealthy. And yet when we think of being ‘pretty’ or ‘healthy’, our mental images are drawn towards those quintessential examples we have been programmed to think of. Never before has Satan had the power to stream these messages directly into the minds of Father’s children. Every television show, magazine, Instagram post, and YouTube video reinforces this idea that your body is ugly and, in all ways, not good enough.

Lucifer’s pièce de résistance, however, takes this idea a diabolical step further. He sexualizes the human body, by influencing popular dress standards to be more revealing in a titillating way, tempting our minds to react lustfully. By making this the way we see these ‘perfect’ physical forms, he cements this idea into our minds and hearts – that the sight of the human body is all about sex, and sex is naughty. But not naughty enough to turn away from media containing immodesty and sexual innuendo, as this is fine. As long as you don’t see naked bodies or watch the sex act, you aren’t affected.

Unfortunately, well-meaning individuals are also caught into the trap of reinforcing these ideas, by trying to shelter their children from all the negative imagery of the human body. But instead of fixing the problem, it only makes it worse. Children are quick to pick up on things that are hidden, and their curiosity leads them to seek answers to their questions. As these subjects are hidden from them by their parents, they know it’s not safe to talk to them about it, and so Lucifer gets to teach them instead. Through pornography, children are violently fed the message that bodies have disproportionately large sexual body parts, and sex is all about personal pleasure and fulfilling your fantasies. Those who aren’t drawn to pornography nevertheless continue to have their mind filled with this false image of the perfect human form, all the time being subjected to whisperings – both internally and externally – of messages teaching body shame and low self-esteem. He then performs the bait and switch – pointing out to the victims the error of their ways and persuading them that they should carry burdens of shame for years regarding the manner of their sexual education.

You don’t have to look far to see the results of these teachings. Many couples married for only a short time end up with marital problems based on sexuality – either stemming from the one extreme where a spouse is addicted to pornography and/or that sex isn’t as exciting as they thought it should be, or from the other extreme, that sex is dirty and they can’t be comfortable with it. Divorce is on the rise, and societal norms of what defines a family is changing rapidly.

Finding myself a parent of young children in this world of confusion, I am faced with the uncomfortable position of needing to help my children see through Satan’s lies he floods the earth with, and be able to find true joy through leading a Christ-centered life. I want them to recognize their physical body as a powerful tool and ally in the war against Satan. I want them to know that sexuality is a sacred and beautiful gift. When they begin to mature, I want them to know that the powerful feelings they begin to experience are not simply temptations from Satan. But how do I do this?

I was raised by loving parents that decided to avoid even the appearance of evil to the greatest degree – and so I lived a very sheltered life growing up. Unfortunately, this led me to insatiable curiosity, and I satisfied my curiosities in all the wrong ways. Even now, as an adult, a husband, and father, I suffer pain from those old wounds I formed in my teenage years. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ can redeem me from the everlasting consequences of my past transgressions, but I also know that all of our experiences, good and bad, can be turned to good. If the reason I still suffer is to remind me not to teach my children in the same way my parents taught me, perhaps good will come of this. I want to commit to not shelter my children. This doesn’t mean that I want to inundate my children with all the evil the world has to offer. Instead, I want to show my children every possible good and wholesome example I can and talk openly about everything, even if it makes me uncomfortable to do so. I want to establish my home as a safe place where my children can be taught correct principles so that when they are confronted by Satan’s lies, they will be so obviously wrong that they will see through them and reject them immediately. I want to satisfy their curiosities in a good and wholesome way so that they don’t go to the world looking for answers.

But how does one do that? Simply put, it’s not going to be easy. It can’t be a passive effort. It can’t just be the way you were raised or what is culturally acceptable. Starting down this path will be stepping out of your comfort zone. And don’t expect the devil to just sit there and watch while you change course. He’ll be exerting every effort to stop you from breaking out of his version of passive parenting. He’ll try to lull you into carnal security, telling you that you need to uphold tradition. Luckily, we aren’t alone; those of us blessed with the gift of the Holy Ghost and sealed in eternal matrimony have extra ammunition to help us forge ahead on this difficult path.

To avoid hypocritical parenting, change needs to start with you. Before making changes, I think it’s important to identify the lies about ourselves we hope to thwart:

• You are too short or too tall; too skinny or too fat
• Your body is merely a sex object
• Naked is that thing you do before having sex
• You need to dress a certain way to be pretty or attractive
• Sex is all about personal self-gratification
• Men can’t control their lustful thoughts
• If you dress immodestly, you are accountable for the lustful thoughts of men who see you

Looking over this list, a common element (stated or unstated) is clothing. Before proceeding, perhaps it would be good to dig a bit deeper into that subject.

There are two contrasting examples of clothing in the story of Adam and Eve that I think are really interesting. First off, remember that Adam and Eve were created naked and remained, unashamed, in that state for an unspecified amount of time. During this time, they were still in the presence of God, they walked and talked with Him; they were married and received instructions from Heavenly Father. Up to this point, there was no problem with them being naked and no need for clothing.

Lucifer, the great deceiver, first introduced clothing to man for the purpose of hiding Adam and Eve’s nakedness. There were definitely feelings of shame associated with this encounter. Suddenly, although it had never been an issue before, Adam and Eve were embarrassed [about] their bodies and wanted to hide from He who created them.

Prior to casting out Adam and Eve from the garden of Eden, Father, in His mercy, provided clothing for them. Unlike the fig leaf aprons, these coats of skins were not for hiding behind, but rather a gift of protection for those who now had to face a harsh and fallen mortal world. These clothes would help combat adverse weather. Also, the clothing provided symbolic meaning that although they were not in the presence of God, they could be spiritually shielded from the wiles of the adversary. Later other ceremonial clothing would likewise be used symbolically to teach man about God’s commitment to assisting in our journey through mortality.

Satan continues to try to confuse us about the purpose of clothing. Instead of it meaning protection, he teaches it means status. For thousands of years, those who had the finer linens and ornamentation were regarded as important. Even today where everyone is expected to wear clothes, we continue to see how people wearing costly apparel put themselves over others.

So, what’s the deal with clothing? As with anything, it can be both good and bad. Clothing protects us and reminds us of our covenants. But focusing too much on clothing can lead to pride, shame and self-loathing. By forgetting that underneath our clothes is a supernal and divine gift, we minimize the importance of our body and allow Satan to plant seeds of enmity in our hearts.

How can we prevent that from happening? I think a good way to start is spending time getting to know your body better. Before or after showering, spending some time looking at yourself naked in the mirror. Ponder on the miracle of life and the wonder of the human body. Have a conversation with your body (verbal or nonverbal). Remember, you have both a physical body as well as a spirit body, and you need to get them both on the same page. Don’t become obsessed with yourself, but gain an appreciation for you. Even though you don’t match up with the ‘perfect’ human form, you can build respect and understanding for your body.

As you become more comfortable with your own body, you will likely be more comfortable with the next step: teaching by example. Having an open-door policy at home means your children will see you spending time naked before or after showering, and they will in time learn from your example not to be ashamed of their body and will start building their own personal relationship with their body. It may be awkward at first, but you’ll realize very quickly that there is nothing unwholesome about your children seeing you naked in a natural, nonsexual way. Naturally, you will also start to become closer to your children, as they will know that you won’t hide anything from them if they come to you to talk.

The next step is to really understand modesty. The definition of the word modesty isn’t really about clothing, as we have been taught, but rather about your attitude and respect for those around you. Words that help better describe the attitude of modesty are humility and meekness, both Christ-like attributes. For example, if you show up to a wedding reception wearing a modest swimsuit, you would be drawing an inappropriate amount of attention to yourself; likewise, if you show up to a swimming pool in a big poufy modest wedding gown. Therefore, modesty isn’t really about the clothes themselves that you wear, but rather about what message you are sending with those clothes. If your clothes are meant to draw attention to yourself, suggesting that you are showing some skin with the hope of getting someone to take off your clothes and have sex with you, that is immodest. It is for this reason that the modesty standards in the For the Strength of Youth have been written. They help you to avoid sending those kinds of messages to those around you. Unfortunately, though, these standards have become a basis for Pharisee-style extended commandment enforcement programs that forget the intent behind the guidelines and focus on adding more letter to the law. This creates shame and teaches culturally-reinforced lies that have become engrained in our society.

How do we counteract this? I think a good way to start is to read the words of the prophets and discuss the commandments they support. But then you need to make sure that it is understood that modesty isn’t about clothing, and just as there are times that “modest” clothing could be considered inappropriate and immodest, there are also times that it is modest and appropriate to wear no clothing at all. The key is the intent and the message you send by how you do (or don’t) dress. Remember that you aren’t accountable for the thoughts of others, but you should strive to dress in such a way that you show respect for yourself and those around you.

Once you understand this principle, you need to put it into practice. While day to day life provides opportunities to go with the flow and wear modest clothes, you need to be proactive about decoupling modesty from clothing. This creates a dilemma. How do I demonstrate unclothed modesty?

At this point, you need to remember the lies you need to dispel, that nudity is inherently about sex. If it was, then your body would be nothing but a sex object. By this point, you should know better. But since modesty is generally about how you conduct yourself with others, what opportunities exist to be both naked and modest around others?

Original Post —http://ldssdf.org/v2/default.aspx?g=posts&m=41657